Homemade Easter Peeps and Poops. POOPS!
I crack myself up. I am often the only one laughing. I will do almost anything to amuse myself. But, I mean, guys, Easter Poops! These aren’t your ordinary brightly colored Peeps. No way. They’re homemade, coffee-flavored, cocoa covered Easter Poops! (Okay, I made Peeps too, because I had so much marshmallow, I had to. And then I wished I hadn’t made them coffee flavored, because there is something weird about a bright pink think being coffee flavored, but oh well.)
Start to finish, one hour. Though I haven’t tried to clean the sugar off of everything yet. (It’s spring, the sugar ants will surely get to it soon.)
1/3 cup COLD water (or coffee, or clear juice, or any other liquid)
1/4 cup COLD water (or coffee, or clear juice, or any other liquid)
2&1/2 teaspoons gelatin
1 cup of sugar
Mix the gelatin into the 1/3 cup cold water, let it sit while you make the syrup. Use the mixing bowl that you will use with your electric mixer. (I can’t believe people ever did this by hand. But they did.)
Put the sugar and 1/4 cup water into a smallish saucepan so that the syrup isn’t too shallow. Dissolve it over low heat until it’s all dissolved, then turn the heat up to mediumish and let it come to a boil – DO NOT MIX IT – until it reaches 238 degrees, aka “soft ball stage.” If much of it splatters up and sticks to the side, you can brush it down with a water on a brush, but mostly, don’t mess with it.
Once it reaches temperature, slowly whisk it into the cold water and gelatin.
Once it’s all dissolved, mix it on HIGH with your electric mixer until it puffs up and makes stiff peaks that hold their shape.
Put it in a big pastry bag with a 10 or 11 tip.
The Poops are easy. Hold the tip straight up and down, make a pool, lighten your squeeze, make another, lighten your squeeze, make another and then just let it drip out to make a tip. Pressure matters, hard pressure makes it big, lighter pressure to get it to stand up, release pressure for the finish and let it drip at the tip. Let it really drain out slowly until it’s done. (Yup. Same thing for a good hand job.)
The Peeps are harder. Tip at roughly a 45 degree angle, you’re essentially making them from the back first. Once the body is as long as you want it to be, squeeze harder and raise your tip up and sort of curve back A TINY BIT and you’ll see the neck form. Then come back to the front, loosen your grip the beak will form. It’s like making an S. A body, then an S.
Regardless of the shape, you have to work FAST! I made it through about half before it was set up too hard to squeeze.
Paint eyes on with food coloring, if you’re too lazy to make royal icing just for some eyes. I am totally that lazy. (But not too lazy to make Poops, because that cracked me up.)
Be sure to serve them to your teenage daughter’s friends, because teenage daughters totally love it when you do shit like that.
In all seriousness, homemade marshmallows are SO EASY to make, and so delicious. I usually just pour the whole mess into a cake pan, let them dry for a few hours and cut them into squares. I’ve made them with maple syrup, with honey, with….. they’re so good. And, technically speaking, if you make them with honey or maple syrup, they’re totally paleo. So, take that shit, and have a Poop.